What is Emotional Intelligence?
Even if you’ve never been tested yourself, you’re probably familiar with the concept of IQ (intelligence quotient) as a measure of our ability to use logic and reasoning to solve problems. But there’s also another type of intelligence test; one which measures our ability to recognise, label, and manage our emotions, and it’s called emotional intelligence (EI).
Why does it matter?
EI is important because it helps us successfully navigate our way through life’s journey – smoothing out the bumps in the road so that we can get to where we want to be. According to the majority of studies on the subject, the higher our EI, the greater our capacity for reasoning, communication, empathy, stress management, and motivation.
Relationships with family, friends and colleagues are more likely to be positive and supportive for those of us with high EI, and academic achievements and career prospects are improved because of an increased capacity to cope with stressful situations and demanding tasks. Overall, high EI enables us to enjoy better mental health and life satisfaction than those with lower EI, even after controlling for cognitive ability and personal traits.
A brief history of EI theories
For centuries the world’s greatest thinkers sought to unravel the effect our emotions have on our ability to live happy, fulfilled lives, but it wasn’t until the latter half of the 20th century that theories examining the importance of our emotions on our cognitive ability began to be taken seriously.
In 1983, in his book Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, Howard Gardner was one of the first to challenge the widely held view that intelligence is a single general capacity possessed by every individual to a greater or lesser extent, measurable by an Intelligence Quotient (IQ) test. Rather than having just one form of intelligence, he introduced the idea that we have multiple intelligencies and that they include the capacity to understand and appreciate our own feelings, fears and motivations, and well as the intentions, motivations and desires of other people.
As interest in the subject grew, most notable of the researchers were Peter Salavoy and John Mayer, and Reuven Bar-On before them, who published articles on the subject in 1990 and 1985 respectively. However, it wasn’t until the release in 1995 of science journalist Dan Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence – Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, that the term emotional intelligence really captured the public’s interest and turned his book into a best-seller. In it, Goleman theorises that EI is just as important as IQ for success in the academic, professional, social, and interpersonal aspects of our lives, and what’s more, it’s a skill that can be learned and cultivated by anyone.
Key EI models
Currently there are three main models of EI which tap into different constructs, and each is assessed and measured differently.
Ability model: Identifies four main emotional skills and abilities: perceiving, using, understanding, and managing emotions. Measured by comparing an individual’s actual abilities against standard performance scales.
Trait model: Identifies four core factors; well-being, self-control, emotionality, and sociability. Measured by the individual themselves, of their self-perceived abilities, as determined by their personality traits.
Mixed model: Identifies five social and emotional competencies that can be learned and developed: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Measured by self-report combined with peer reports, particularly appropriate to the workplace.
Although EI theories differ in their approach, they inevitably overlap, and the following three fundamental intelligences are common to all three:
Aareness and understanding
Self-regulation and motivation
Social skills and empathy
AWARENESS AND UNDERSTANDING
Having the ability to identify our emotions and understand what drives our behaviour, as well as the effect that it has on others, lies at the heart of IE. Even though the fast pace of life leaves us little time to analyse and reflect, understanding why we feel what we feel, and learning from our experiences, is probably the most rewarding investment we can make.
Emotional self-awareness is also about recognising what motivates us and, in turn, what brings us fulfilment.
Try this challenge: Think about describing yourself to another person without mentioning anything about the external things in your life such as your friends, family, where you live, what you look like, or what job you do. Concentrate only on your thoughts, feelings and behaviours, and on identifying your strengths and weaknesses, your capabilities and values.
How did you get on? Were there any surprises?
3 ways to improve awareness and understanding
Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions
Reflect on your behaviour, and how it may be perceived by others
Ask others for constructive feedback
SELF REGULATION AND MOTIVATION
As we gradually increase our awareness of our emotions, and the impact they have on our day-to-day interactions, we begin to see the value of being able to regulate them. That doesn’t mean suppressing our true feelings, it means waiting for the right time and place to express them, and doing so with tact and sensitivity in order to achieve our goals. Otherwise, when emotions run high, our cognitive abilities, decision-making powers, and interpersonal skills are diminished.
Motivation not only delivers success at work and in sports, it stimulates, energizes, directs and sustains our behaviour throughout the day in order to achieve the goals we set for ourselves, whether big or small. Goleman identified four key elements: our personal drive to improve, our commitment to the goals we set for ourselves, our readiness to act on opportunities that present themselves, and our resilience.
Try this challenge: Think back to the last time you got annoyed about something, or had an argument with someone. Think objectively about what you were thinking and feeling at the time, and how you behaved.
Did you get the outcome you wanted, or do you regret your behaviour and wish you’d handled it differently?
3 ways to improve self-regulation and motivation
Take responsibility for your own actions
Build ‘distress tolerance’ skills
Look at challenges as opportunities for self-development
SOCIAL SKILLS AND EMPATHY
Being able to interact well with others is another important aspect of emotional intelligence. Having strong social skills and empathy allows us to develop meaningful relationships with family, friends and colleagues, and improves the quality of our daily interactions with people in general. It enables us to recognise the emotional states of others, and also the power dynamics that can affect social relationships - particularly in workplace settings - and how to respond appropriately.
Try this challenge: Can you recall an occasion when someone confided in you that they were feeling sad or hopeless? Did you respond by showing them care and concern, and did you try to lift their spirits? Or did you feel embarrassed by their behaviour and turn away?
Now put yourself in their position. Do you think you could have done more?
3 ways to improve social skills and empathy
Show interest in others
Ask open-ended questions
Imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes
CONCLUSION
Although some researchers claim EI is a characteristic we’re born with, many more believe that it can be learned and strengthened. So the good news is that it’s never too late to embark on self-management and regulation training because the potential benefits are numerous and should not be underestimated.
Whether it’s connecting with others and improving interpersonal relationships, achieving success in the workplace, dealing with stress, or improving motivation, EI can play a central role in realising success in both our personal and professional lives.
Here are links to a variety of reports that you may find interesting: