Self-esteem is how we perceive and value ourselves. Considered an important component of emotional health, self-esteem encompasses both self-confidence and self-worth.

People with healthy self-esteem believe they’re valued, competent, worthy, loved, and accepted.

You probably have healthy self-esteem if you:

• Express your needs.

• Feel confident.

• Have a positive outlook on life.

• Say no when you want to.

• Avoid dwelling on past negative experiences.

• Recognise and accept your strengths and weaknesses.

• Believe you are equal to everyone else; no better and no worse.

Those with low self-esteem believe themselves to be incompetent, rejected, unworthy, unloved, and lacking in value to others.

You probably have low self-esteem if you:

• Frequently experience fear and self-doubt.

• Believe others are better than you.

• Lack confidence.

• Have a negative outlook on life.

• Find it difficult to say no.

• Feel a lack of control.

• Have a fear of failure.

• Focus on your weaknesses.

• Put other people's needs before your own.

Whether we have healthy or low self-esteem depends largely on our life experience. As young children it’s most likely to be the behaviour and attitudes of our parents and carers that have the greatest impact. Then, as we get older, it’s our experiences outside the home; in school, with peers, in the workplace, and in the wider community, that become increasingly significant in this regard.

For those of us who work, it’s not just a means to make money to access goods and services, it’s also a socialising mechanism, and the evidence suggests that our work domain and our self-esteem become interdependent; that our level of self-esteem influences our workplace experience, and our experience of success or failure in the workplace effects our self-esteem. Read about the research here.

Theories on the effect of work experiences on self-esteem

a.     Sociometer theory suggests that self-esteem stands or falls by the degree of social acceptance we achieve in the workplace. For example, being asked for advice, being praised by co-workers, supervisors, clients, and customers, and receiving social support in difficult work situations, all of which boost our self-esteem.

The job we do can also influence social acceptance outside of the workplace. For example, being viewed by others as a person having a job that’s highly prized and well paid, or conversely, having one that’s of low status and poorly paid, can have a considerable influence on our level of social acceptance, which in turn may have a significant effect on our self-esteem.

b.     Neo-Socioanalytic theory proposes that social roles, such as that of employee, come with specific social expectations such as being reliable, responsible, friendly, cooperative, and willing to take the initiative. These expectations are an important driver for the development of the mature personality traits necessary for the employee to progress to a higher-level position, and are also associated with gains in self-esteem when compared to those employees remaining in lower job roles.

c.      Demands-Affordances Transactional theory proposes that work experiences influence personality development through the pursuit of person-environment fit. According to this theory, individuals seek to meet the demands imposed by their work environment, and adjust their actions as necessary. For example, if an individual works as a salesperson and likes their job, and if this job requires self-confident behaviour but they have relatively low self-confidence, then the person will take steps to strengthen their self-confidence.

So, whatever our current level of self-esteem, the evidence suggests that working gives us the opportunity to increase it, so let’s take a look at some ways we can help make that happen.

Tips to increase self-esteem at work

Set yourself goals: Building self-esteem is a gradual process. Whether it’s fear of speaking up in meetings, or fear of making mistakes, it can mark us out as someone who doesn’t really contribute much to the organisation. So, for example, if you’re generally shy and quiet during meetings, a worthy goal could be to share one comment, question, or idea during each meeting you attend. Start with a smaller meeting, like a team meeting where you already know everyone, and gradually work your way up to larger gatherings.

Visualise success: Visualise yourself successfully overcoming an imminent challenge. It primes the brain to act instinctively and effectively, whatever the situation.

Ditch negative self-talk: When presenting your ideas, don’t use any qualifiers or self-deprecating humour such as “Here comes another idea from a less qualified person”. Negative self-talk harms your confidence and can impact how others perceive you.

Improve your presentation: We all know the saying ‘dress for success’. Dressing well, having good posture, being friendly, and making eye contact with people will all give the impression that we’re confident and in control. And when everyone thinks we’re bursting with self-esteem, we’ll start believing it, too!

Be positive: You’ll be surprised how far a positive attitude will take you. Not only will other people trust in your abilities and come to you for advice, but you’ll start to realise that you’re a capable person with many skills to offer.

Eliminate negativity: Working with rude, arrogant, or otherwise unpleasant colleagues can lower job satisfaction and wear down your self-esteem. Gravitate towards positive minded colleagues and try to spend less time around those with a negative disposition.

Ask questions: Don’t undertake a project without fully understanding what’s expected of you. Never be afraid to ask questions when you don’t know something. It’s easier to ask for clarification now, than to have to correct a mistake later, that could potentially damage your self-esteem.

Use positive affirmations: Starting your workday with a positive mindset can help you feel more confident. Practice classic positive affirmations by looking in the mirror and repeating phrases such as “I am smart and capable”, “My thoughts and ideas matter”, or “I am ready to conquer this day”.

Focus on your strengths: All too often, we focus on our shortcomings rather than the areas we excel in. So, make a list of your knowledge and skills, then seek projects or tasks that use them. You’ll be doing your best work, gaining positive feedback, and increasing self-esteem.

Build on your skills: Professional development training helps you learn a new skill or develop a specific talent that you can immediately apply to your job to improve your performance. It also signals to your boss that you want to progress and are willing to put in extra effort.

Make connections: As we’ve already learned, social acceptance within the workplace is key to building self-esteem. Try saying hello to a colleague in the break room and start a conversation, or send an email to someone to congratulate them on their latest project. Also, keep up to date with the latest films, box sets, and celebrity gossip so that you can join in with the office chit-chat at the coffee machine.

Ask for Feedback: Don’t wait for your annual appraisal to have a conversation with your boss about your performance. Ask for feedback along the way. Doing so demonstrates that you care about your work and want to succeed in your job. Plus, you’ll gain a better sense of what you’re doing well, and those areas that could be improved.

Accept that mistakes happen: Everyone makes mistakes. You will too, and that’s okay… so long as you learn from them.

Use positive self-talk: Becoming aware of your ‘inner voice’ is the precursor to choosing a more positive, constructive, compassionate response instead of self-criticism. Acknowledge the career improvements you’ve made, and praise yourself when you satisfactorily complete work projects or when you exceed expectations.

Go above and beyond: Can you suggest new ideas, clients, or products? Make a process easier or more streamlined? Or even just get the report on your boss’ desk three days early? You’ll feel better about yourself if you go the extra mile – and it won’t go unnoticed.

Enjoy yourself: There’s nothing worse for your self-esteem than taking yourself too seriously. Of course, you want to do a good job, but you can also have fun while you’re doing it. Learn to laugh at your setbacks and mistakes, and take criticism with good humour - you’ll be amazed how being more light-hearted boosts your confidence and helps you move on.

Be patient: Recognise that it takes time and practice to learn new behaviours, but once you commit to them, they’ll become second nature. Also, remember that you’re going to have to tweak your approach as you practice and figure out what works for you. Over time your new behaviours will become more natural, and you’ll do them without thinking.

Thank you for reading this blog post. If you have any thoughts to share, or ideas for future posts, please do let me know. I would love to hear from you.